how does she knooooooooooww?

8 ways to know you're living in the Netherlands by what's on t.v.:

8. this? this is a commercial. an actually-aired commercial. and, despite the obvious, it kinda rocks.

(voice-over-- this is jesus. jesus didn't have much success with the ladies. jesus was desperate. he was very desperate. until, one day, jesus saw the light. life is way more fun when you're dutch!)

7. the army ads? rock. for example, this is one in a series of "geschikt, ongeschikt" (suitable, unsuitable) commercials:


6. this show, called "gooische vrouwen", features four women who live in an upperclass neighborhood and generally get themselves into shenanigans. (sound familiar?) and no, i'm far to lazy to translate this whole commercial. let's just say drama, drama, drama, and let that speak for itself.


5. i think this one speaks for itself.

(voice-over-- take two dutch divas. stick them on an argentinian ranch. gordon-- is there no more closet space? voice-over-- and bring to a boil. the boys, watching other boys-- mmm-mmm. gordon-- weird color, isn't it? i think we'd better make this good, huh. gerard-- you'd better believe it. gordan-- now mix it nicely together, ger. the boys-- good, huh?)
oh, and "knorr, maak er wat van" means "knorr, make something of it".

4. this commercial has the power to make women the country over squeal: "sven! erben!" and then we all drool. and get upset when someone changes the channel on us.

(voice-over(s)-- it is so nice to go into training together, knowing that there's one day, just one day, when it has to happen. people say 'that sven, he skates so easily, like it's effortless' but it's not like that. it's because i train incredibly hard. it's during training that i can reach into myself, completely empty myself, work harder and reach a little further. and then the day comes, when all the energy you've built up has to come out. when the stadium is full? the energy that comes out, i think you could run a country on it.)

3. this trailer ran insanely often and you still like it.

(the writing says: in october/ you will see/ and believe/ that love is everything. voice-over-- i believe that it exists. that you can suddenly see the future with someone, that you know that someone will still love you even when you sit next to them on the couch with saggy breasts and bad hair! that there's a point to all this.)

2. the dutch version of the simple life stars two gay guys (you should recognize them from the knorr commercial) who giggle and whine and generally cause mayhem and are so much better than nicole and paris. this is a snippet from an episode where they were helping run a daycare. heh.

(for the record, lingo's an older dutch game show where you have to make certain lenghth words and then you get to pull colored balls which increase or decrease your point value.)
(oh, and i almost forgot: gordon-- we're playing 15 letter lingo. dirty-gross-horrible-child.)

and the number one way you can tell that you're in the netherlands by what's playing on your t.v.?

1. this show? is currently among the most viewed shows in the country. it has some of the highest ratings ever. no joke. oh, "boer zoekt vrouw" means "farmer seeks wife".



and, why yes, there are only 8 because i got bored and decided to do something else after reaching 7, but as we all know 7 is not an even number and thus is evil.